TRUE FACTS about Vancouver Canucks MVP Superstar and Superhuman goaltender Roberto Luongo you might not have known…

I’m not really a hockey fan, but this cracked me up.  Courtesy of the NHL website . . . .Oh wait, what’s that thumpin’ sound . . . all the latecomers to the party jumping on the bandwagon . . .maybe even me!
 
Superhuman superstar Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo
TRUE FACTS about Vancouver Canucks MVP Superstar and Superhuman goaltender Roberto Luongo you might not have known…1. Roberto Luongo’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Roberto Luongo does not sleep. He waits.
3. Inappropriate
4. Roberto Luongo has counted to infinity – twice.
5. When Roberto Luongo does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
6. Roberto Luongo recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
7. Roberto Luongo can build a snowman out of rain.
8. Inappropriate
9. Roberto Luongo’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Roberto Luongo.
10. Roberto Luongo can speak braille.
11. Superman owns a pair of Roberto Luongo pajamas.
12. Roberto Luongo can slam revolving doors.
13. Roberto Luongo can delete the Recycling Bin.
14. Inappropriate
15. Roberto Luongo can kill two stones with one bird.
16. Roberto Luongo is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his right and left pads.
17. Roberto Luongo is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
18. Roberto Luongo can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
19. A cobra once bit Roberto Luongo’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
20. Roberto Luongo’s dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Roberto Luongo will not take sh*t from anyone.
21. Inappropriate
22. Roberto Luongo doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
23. When Roberto Luongo enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
24. Jesus walked on water. Roberto Luongo swam through land.
25. Roberto Luongo once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
26. The only time Roberto Luongo was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
27. Inappropriate
28. Roberto Luongo can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
29. Inappropriate
30. Giraffes were created when Roberto Luongo uppercut a horse.

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