By one-armed bandit I don’t mean one of those ubiquitous slot machines in Vegas
Nope, yours truly is the one-armed bandit in this story. And I’m . .let me think . .mad, sad, frustrated and bored.
Two weeks ago I was volunteering at the Deep Cove Dragonboat Regatta – spent the day hauling people safely in and out of boats from the steep drop Deep Cove dock. Then we loaded all the gear into trucks and as I was heading back to my car . . .disaster. I tripped on a tree root and went down hard on a concrete retaining wall. Landed hard on my right hand and wrist and gave myself a good bump on the chin. After several hours at Emergency, I had a livid bruise on my chin (but all my teeth and no broken bones) and a very painfully sprained hand/wrist. Morphine is a great thing, let me say, and does qualify you for a week off work.
Fast forward a week or so . .the massive swelling has gone down, I can move my fingers (heartfelt sigh of relief) and I’m off the hardcore painkillers. A couple more medical visits and the diagnosis/prognosis is torn ligaments and tendons in my right hand and wrist that will take another 5 weeks to heal, along with a hairline fracture on the side of my hand. Nice, very nice. [insert a lot of loud cuss words here]. The offending limb is strapped up in a brace for at least 3 more weeks and then I can gradually start using it again. [insert more loud cuss words]
Here is a list of things I can do with only one left hand. . . pretty much nothing.
The list of things I can’t do is way longer . . .pretty much everything. I can’t type, I had to peck this out with 2 fingers on my left hand . . but hey, I do have time on my hands. I can’t paddle, run, swordfight, do yoga, go to bootcamp. . . you get the picture. The very time I could seriously use a big endorphin high – no such luck. I can sit on the couch watching TV . . .no endorphins there. But I’m open to suggestions . . .
I also have to brush my teeth left-handed, can’t blow-dry my hair and have nearly poked both of my eyes out trying to apply mascara. I can’t open cans or jars or cut anything with a knife. I love my homemade, fresh, organic food, but it’s convenience food all the way for me now. I had a beer and some nacho chips for dinner tonight – seriously.
Other shit I can’t do: open the car door with the keys in my hand – you need both hands – same goes for the door to my house. Dig anything out of my purse while I’m holding it. Driving left-handed – only for short neighborhood jaunts, but at least I’ve figured that out. My garden needs cleaning and the spring plants put in – hahaha, good laugh. Car is dirty off to the car wash. I did manage to give the dog a bath, but only coz I’m really stubborn.
And what do I do for a living – I TYPE! [insert waaaay more cuss words]. Luckily I work for a great company and they are all being super understanding and helpful. I now have DragonSpeak, voice recognition software, installed and I dictate most of the work I do. It actually works surprisingly well, and it’s better than this hideously painful, time-consuming 2 finger pecking.
Usually I’d be happy to catch up on some movies and reading, but I’m so mad and frustrated about this that I can’t seem to settle to a good book. I have to find some serenity.
Well, that’s my big self-serving rant. I am violating all orders to rest my wrist and feeling a bit guilty.
I’m waiting for a couple of good local shows – at least I can still stand and listen to music. I can’t wait for Shaun Verrault and Wide Mouth Mason to get back to Vancouver with their new album. Here is a great new song, I Love Not Loving You Anymore.. Can’t wait to see it live.